Autobiography of a Face

   In Autobiography of a Face, I think Lucy Grealy is an example of how experience with illness relies on a person’s perceptions of it.

   I was bothered by the story because it seemed as though Lucy did not try to ignore criticism at all; she liked attention so throughout her life she accepted the criticism and chose to feel sorry for herself.

Grealy writes, “Sometimes the briefest moments capture us, force us to take them in, and demand that we live the rest of our lives in reference to them” (78). Grealy says this, but does not live by her own advice. Instead of reflecting on past experiences to make her stronger and help her grow out of her suffering, she uses them to remind herself that others think she is ugly and life in self-pity.

   What was interesting is that Grealy blamed her self-pity on those around her, rather than taking ownership for her emotions. She actually even blames her family problems on herself when she says, “Unable to locate my unhappiness within the difficult and complex family relationships we all shared, I thought that it all originated with me, that I was somehow at fault” (93). I think that because she was so young while all of this was going on, it was easier for Lucy to blame others and pity herself rather than be strong and ignore the criticism.

   Looking back at how perception affects a person’s experience with illness, I believe that this perception also affected how she heard the advice of her mother. For example, when her mother says, “If you wear something that comes up around your neck, it makes the scar less visible” (121). In the story we see the Lucy is automatically offended by this statement. However, if one looks at this in a different point of view, one could say that her mother felt as though she would not want others to see her scar; it had nothing to do with her being ugly, but it would just prevent people from staring at her (which we know she hated so much). Rather than saying her mother was being harsh and rude, it could also be said that her mother was just looking out for her daughter as any other mother would do.

   I connected these points to Audre Lorde’s essay, “Breast Cancer, Power vs. Prosthesis”. In her essay, Lorde blames society and men for the fact that women often feel the need to feel a prosthetic breast after breast cancer and mastectomies. Like Grealy, Lorde puts the blame for her own struggle on others because it is easier to do. This skewed perception is similar to Grealy’s; she perceives that society feels that she needs a prosthetic breast, and that this degrades women. However, if Lorde and Grealy both stopped blaming society and started realizing that their struggles lie in their own perceptions, they may possibly be freed from their struggle and find a way to accept themselves and easily ignore society’s standards. 

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